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By Clint Hamilton
clint@piedmontgazette.com
AUBURN - According to multiple sources, seven Auburn football players have tested positive for steroids. Several SEC programs have suspected this for quite some time, and according to one unamed league source, he wouldn’t be surprised if several more Auburn players are found to have taken performance enhancing drugs.
“We can randomly test 7 at one time prior to finding a positive result. Once a positive result is found, we can then subject the entire team to unlimited testing.” He said. “ We fully expect these numbers to grow with more testing” said the source with the SEC.
A member of the Auburn Athletic Department alerted the SEC after an incident in early May in which several players were spotted sharing needles in the back of an SUV and then attacked a group of Asian students outside their dorm.
“I just walk with my friends and big men attack us. I not know what to do. I yell for help and get punch in face very hard. They laugh and call us homos" said Hui Wang, an Auburn Veterinary medicine student.
Two of the students attacked spent significant time in the hospital.
According to Auburn football coach, Tommy Tuberville, the players were merely "protecting their house" and he denies any performance enhancing drugs have been used by his players. He maintains the SEC and the NCAA “are out to destroy Auburn and its football program”.
Gary Herrier, the technician assigned to collect the urine samples for the SEC, claims Tuberville shouted obscenities at him and that Tuberville had to be physically restrained by his players during the sample collection.
“That guy is crazy,” said Herrier. “I was just doing my job and he comes over and starts getting in my face. He’s like ‘Get the hell out of here! What do you think you're doing? These are my players, you little queer!’ And his face got all red, too. For a minute I thought he was going to have a coronary."
In addition to the positive tests, several sources say that steroids are rampant in the Auburn locker room. According to one source, the players are shooting them up like they are "back alley heroin addicts".
“Of course these guys are juiced up. Some of them make Barry Bonds look like Mary-Kate Olsen. Anyone should be able to see that,” said the source. “How this has gone on for as long as it has is mind boggling. If it wasn’t for Alabama's NCAA probation, Mike Shula, sociology and steroids, Tommy Tuberville would have been fired years ago and we wouldn’t have this problem today.
“He is a plague on Auburn and should be treated as such. I’m just glad this was stopped before someone was killed."
Auburn's football team has now been put on a regular testing program. For the next year they will each be subjected to a dozen urine tests, to be conducted at random. Minus the steroids, the mood around the Auburn football team is expected to change drastically.
According to one Auburn football player, “Steroids are the only thing that really motivated us, other than wearing Under Armor apparel of course. Even that seems a little, I don’t know, dumb at this point. So it keeps you from sweating too much. Who really cares? And now that I’m losing my muscles, this form-fitting shirt is starting to look a bit gay.”
Clint Hamilton is the Sports Editor for the Piedmont Gazette
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